One Big Mishap
by Mustsleep
Summary: AU Reality ItaSaku: A bounty hunter, detective, and surgeon want to defeat the Akatsuki and the Akatsuki, them. But their plans are disturbed as a serial killer makes an appearance. Now they have to find a way to work together before the city crumbles.
1. The two sides and the one in the middle

_A big thank you to 17child-of-the-moon17 for editing this chapter for me! _

_I own nothing-Z.z_

**One Big Mishap **

**Chapter 1: The two sides and the one in the middle**

What did a surgeon, bounty hunter and detective all have in common? For starters, they all had made the same life goal to bring down a select group of individuals since high school. This group was known, only by a few, as the Akatsuki. Of course, there was no way to bring someone down without evidence; so the trio was left watching the 'evil' organization slowly take over, by infiltrating important social structures.

But who were these people? Well, the group consisted of: a police chief, who was known to be emotionally cold as ice; a police officer, who had dealings with the FBI; a forensic scientist, who specialized in poisons; a botanist, who had bipolar disorder and kept venomous plants; a CEO of a major business company, who was not known for his patience; a vogue model, who was as beautiful as she was deadly; an architect, who was known to make the best 'fireworks' in the entire city; a bank owner, who had serious trust issues; an interrogator, who was employed by the CIA and FBI (for extreme cases); and a candy shop owner.

The last was only guilty by association, so the three had nothing against him; in fact, the surgeon usually stopped by every other day after work or during her break. The candy shop was only a five minute walk away from hospital that she worked at…

* * *

"Hey, Tobi!" the pink haired doctor called to the candy man as she entered the store. The tiny chimes played a light tune as the woman shook off her umbrella before turning and making her way across the black and white checkered floor. Her sneakers squeaked as she walked over to the counter where the man was diligently working. She stopped, looking around at all the treats lining the shelves before she stared though the glass counter at the amazing concoctions below her.

"Hi, Sakura!" the black spiky-haired man replied, flashing her a brilliant smile as he looked up from his work. His beauty was dazzling; his fair skin was spotless; and his delicate looking dark, navy blue eyes gave a thoughtful touch. Sometimes the woman wondered if the reason she came was really because he was a good childhood friend who quenched her mouth's sweet tooth or if it was because of the visual awe inspiring sight.

"How have you been?" Tobi asked as he returned to pulling the pink salt-water taffy.

Sakura smiled, taking it as a signal to take a seat and talk. She pulled herself up on the red leather bar stool, wanting to giggle at how old-fashioned yet cool the place was. It reminded her of an old barbershop.

"Ugh." Sakura sighed, placing her hands on the counter. "Just ugh." She rested her face in her hands. She had been called in at twelve a.m. when a massive accident had severely injured thirty people and most had required surgery. Sakura wiped at her tired eyes. Five had died soon after arriving at the hospital, too late to save; several others had died in the surgery room.

"You got called in," Tobi commented as he watched the female slightly begin to doze on his counter top.

"Yeah…" Sakura gave a tired smile and then began to, again, eye the candy in the display case below her, as well as watch the young man roll the taffy on the counter top. "How are you doing?"

"Won-der-ful!" the young man sang out in falsetto as he began to cut his taffy.

Sakura gave a dry laugh as she watched the man hum while he twisted the taffy into small packages. "You really love this job don't you?"

"Of course," the man gave another one of his heart stopping smiles. "Making candy has always been my dream. Here, try this: it's a new recipe."

Tobi laid the pink ball on a piece of wax paper before sliding it over the glass counter towards the pink haired woman.

Sakura placed the warm, gooey substance in her mouth. "Mmm." The strawberry-kiwi flavor exploded while mixing perfectly with its salty complement. "This has to be the best one yet. Think I could get a pound of that to go?"

"Sure," Tobi grinned, returning to wrap the rest of his little masterpieces. "Don't forget you love your job too."

"Oh yes," Sakura scoffed, "What's not to love? There are the long hours, the calls in the night, and the truck loads of paperwork. But wait, there's more: you can't forget having to measure correct dosages of medication or the patient will die. Then there's also the amount of time you spend clotting blood and being covered in it." Sakura sighed.

"If I didn't love saving people, or if I didn't have medical school bills still haunting me, I wouldn't be there." Sakura gave an exaggerated yawn. Her green eyes suddenly flashed in anger as another thought crossed her mind.

"Just look at me. I've become a tired, old woman. Look!" Sakura declared holding out her long pink hair for Tobi to inspect, "I've got several whites! Not grays, but whites!"

"Umm…" Tobi shifted in slight discomfort.

"And I have little to no social life outside of you and my boys." Sakura face palmed. "I'm a living wreck."

Tobi coughed to grab her attention before she could start sobbing. "Well then, you should come to the Akatsuki dinner with me tonight!" Tobi replied, measuring the pound of taffy on the scale. At no reply, Tobi raised his head to watch the young woman seemingly convulse on his bar stool.

"Uh… Sakura!" the man's eyes grew wide, he couldn't afford a lawsuit if she were to fall off and break her skull on his floor.

The woman shook her head violently. "No…" The woman gave a shiver although it was quite warm in the building. "Not them…" her voice cut off into a dead whisper.

"Aww… Please Sakura, you'd have loads of fun. They'll be good; I promise. They're grownups now," Tobi pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

They might have worked, had Sakura been looking, but she was quickly digging through her purse in dire search of her wallet.

"Yes, they're 'all' grown up now," Sakura growled, still looking for her elusive wallet. "They've accumulated so much power that they now have complete control over the banking system, the law enforcement and even international interrogation. There's no stopping them." Her voice began to squeak. "They have no consequences!"

"But Sakura," Tobi sniffed.

Sakura slammed a twenty on the counter, and Tobi was once again justified in installing Plexiglas in his shop. Sakura grabbed her bag of candy before snatching her purse.

"It was good seeing you, Tobi." Sakura made a beeline for the door picking up her umbrella. "Keep the change."

She gave a tiny wave before she walked back out into the rain storm.

Tobi sighed resting his hands on the counter. Another failed attempt.

Navy blue eyes glared at the pink taffy. "Guess I'll be taking you with me tonight then…"

* * *

Tobi's head drooped as he made his way up the stairs to the leader's dining room. His steps were slow and down beat even though he was running late, which was something he rarely did. The navy blue eyes inspected the floor with great intensity. The CEO had not spared any money in making the beautiful home for his vogue model wife. The entire floor was made up of white marble, which was accented by the glass handrails lining the walkway and stair case. It was obvious they didn't have kids nor expected to have any. Everything in the entire palace practically screamed 'breakable!' Even the cabinets that lined the hallway were made of glass.

Tobi consciously slowed down as he neared the dining room. Taking a deep breath he opened the door.

"Tobi, what's wrong, un?" Deidara, the architect, asked as the entire room filled with silence at the sound of the opening door.

Soon, the room was full of echoes of the same question as the rest of the members wondered at the youngest member's downhearted aura.

"Nothing…" Tobi murmured making his way to sit between the police chief (his cousin), Itachi and Deidara.

Itachi's black eyes examined Tobi with his cold, calculating gaze. "There is something wrong." The majority of the room wanted to sigh; he was pointing out the obvious…again.

"A problem to one Akatsuki is a problem to the rest," Kisame, the police officer, added to his best friend's words before one of the more sarcastic characters of the group could attack the raven haired man.

The room's silence was deadly as the happy-go-lucky character of the usually stoic group said nothing.

"Tobi, sweetie-," Konan began, her gray eyes flickering with worry.

"I said it was nothing!" Tobi growled taking them all by surprise.

Complete silence filled the room before Tobi blushed, "Sorry, Tobi just made some bad calculations."

The hidden tension in the room released and Tobi hid a sigh of relief with a sad smile.

The blue haired woman and only female member of the group immediately hurried to his side to give him a hug. "It's okay, sweetie-pie, everyone makes errors sometimes."

Being squished in the tight hug, the youngest member's only choice was to return the physical interaction. "Tobi knows. Tobi was just upset, Konan. Don't worry about Tobi. Tobi is a good boy." Tobi gave another half-smile as the woman slowly released her squeeze to give a good look at the boy. She was looking too closely at him, he needed to distract her. "Tobi just failed at a mission. Tobi is very sorry."

"Mission?" Konan asked. Her eyes narrowed in thought.

The navy blue eyes narrowed as the man realized his mistake. Silently cursing in his head he gave a slight giggle. "Tobi just wanted to invite a friend over for dinner so we could all play games together. Like tag, candy land, and hide-and-seek!"

"But a mission?" Itachi prodded. Tobi opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off.

"That would have been my mistake," Pein cut in, and all eyes focused to the orange haired man. "There was someone Tobi wanted us to meet, so I suggested that he should bring that person tonight for dinner. He must have mistook my suggestion as an order of some kind," the orange haired man commented off to the side, he then turned his attention to the youngest member. "No need to worry about it, Tobi. I was just curious because you spoke so highly of the person. I'm sure that I will be graced with their presence at a later date."

"Who?" Itachi questioned again, eyes narrowing. He was a cop, which meant he could smell mischief.

"Just a good friend of Tobi's," Pein quickly covered, while trying to say it nonchalantly. His amber eyes glinted at the young man, demanding that he end the conversation.

"Yep, a really good friend of Tobi's!" Tobi said perking up from the warning. He beamed his childish smile across the table and everyone slowly relaxed.

"You got other friends besides us, un?" the blond haired man asked as he patted Tobi on the back.

"Tobi has lots and lots of friends!" Immediately the man began acting like his 'usual' self as he began to steal food from Deidara's plate.

Business continued as usual. Although many were curious, they knew not to pressure Pein. Everyone had seen the warning in his gaze and everyone understood that the conversation was over. Of course, there were those who were socially aware of the situation and understood that any discussion in the particular area would instigate chaos. A chaos that would consist of several stray bullets from Itachi's gun that nobody would be able to escape. They knew it was best to leave the man oblivious to what was going to take place under his nose. But he had seen the look as well, and now he was bound to ask questions.

The blue man wanted to visibly shiver like the white haired interrogator, but he knew that would be a dead giveaway. Itachi was already eying Hidan. Although, it would be unlikely for Itachi to go to him first because everyone knew best-friends were always first. It was with this realization that Kisame just wished, for once, that he had been blessed with normal friends…

"Oh!" Tobi exclaimed, breaking the silent contemplation of the two very nervous men in the room. "Tobi brought a treat for everyone!"

Slipping off his jacket, the man reached into his inside pocket. "Here we go," he proclaimed as he pulled out a large clear plastic bag. There inside rested about three pounds of his newly made taffy.

"Tobi got really good reviews on this recipe!" Tobi smiled as he passed the bag around.

"A new one?" Pein asked carefully.

"Yep!"

…

Kisame slipped several pieces back into the bag as he handed it on to Zetsu who simply handed it over to Konan.

Itachi shook his head; they were unwilling to believe that, with time, Tobi was bound to get better. Although… Itachi eyed the handful he had with suspicion; a night getting his stomach pumped at the hospital did not sound appealing, but he was family. Well, he could always throw the rest away when he got home, he concluded. He could only hope that one wouldn't result in a remake of Deidara's little incident. He rested all but one on the table before opening the wrapper.

All eyes concentrated on the brave, raven haired man as the pink piece disappeared into his mouth. Itachi's eyes dilated slightly with surprise, an expression which was only caught by the blue skinned man, who then stealthily stole one of Itachi's pieces from the table.

"Very good, Tobi," Itachi said, slightly smiling. It was sweet, but not too sweet. For some reason it reminded him of something, something he should remember…

"Yay! Tobi is a good boy!" the high falsetto announced into Itachi's ear, blowing whatever memories he had out of his mind.

Itachi gently patted his younger cousin's head in Uchiha affection.

"This is really good, Tobi," Kisame said with surprise. Immediately he earned a glare from his best friend; someone had counted their pieces of candy.

"Pass some over here, little _!" Hidan demanded to Kakuzu as he grabbed the bag. Immediately, pulling ensued and the pink treats flew everywhere within the room.

Quietly, Itachi began picking up the pieces near him to take home. With a quick death glare, Kisame dropped the pieces he had been trying to steal from the table.

Yes, the Akasuki once-a-week dinner continued on as usual.

* * *

"He invited you to eat with them?" the blond bounty-hunter exclaimed.

"Yes, now stop moving. I'm trying to bandage you up, Naruto," Sakura growled as she wrapped gauze around the shredded upper arm of her childhood friend.

"I'm just saying that it doesn't sit right! Right, Sasuke?"

"Shut up, dope. 'They' probably wanted us to talk peace terms," the moody detective growled as he leaned against the couch, watching the two of them in the bathroom. "I haven't had the time lately to look into them in a while, so I don't think it has anything to do with us getting close…" the man trailed off into his own thoughts.

"Pfft, they probably just want to lure us in and make us disappear one by one!" the blond declared, jumping up. He received a quick blow to the head, which made him feel his face to make sure his teeth hadn't been shattered. The man felt his way back to his seat on the counter because he couldn't see with all the water brimming in his eyes.

"I wasn't done yet!" Sakura roared, damaging the sensitive ears of the blue-eyed man. She duct taped the end knowing the sticky gauze wasn't enough to hold itself together on the hyper-active, well-toned man. "Okay, there." She sighed as she packed up her medical kit.

"The dope has a point." Said man's ears perked up. "It's a good thing you didn't go. It could have been a trap," the detective said as he sat on the edge of the couch.

"Sasuke, I'm a well-known person. You would miss me, my work would definitely miss me, and I would be looked for." Sakura sighed as she slid the medical kit into the cabinet.

"Sakura, they would call the police. And guess who the chief is? Oh yeah, it's my brother. Guess who he'll put on the case? Oh yeah, his best friend Kisame. Don't forget he's in on the whole deal as well. They can make you go missing; they're cops, so they know where to put your body where it will never be found."

"Yeah, Sakura. Although, the jerk's brother isn't that creative," Naruto commented as he picked up the bag of taffy from the coffee table.

"Trust me, he's creative. But even if he does run out of ideas, there is always that purple eyed interrogator."

"Oh, I forgot about him." Naruto sat back in the recliner and began munching on the candy.

Sakura sighed as she walked around Sasuke. She then dramatically fell onto the couch, only to curl up into a ball. She picked up her favorite pillow, plucking at it as she rested her head upon its fuzzy pink softness. Suddenly she shivered.

"You guys haven't even read his books…" she trailed off.

"Books?" both boys questioned.

"Hidan… In his spare time, he writes horror stories and mystery novels…" she trailed off again as she remember that every character that died in his books had been killed in a different way.

Everyone in the room shivered in unison. "That guy is messed up…" Naruto murmured, lost in his own memories.

Sasuke looked back and forth between his 'sister' and 'brother' (in arms). He would never admit it, but he was glad that the three of them decided to live in the same townhouse as well as agreeing to build a door between the two sides of the house. Sakura had one side, because of her 'girlie needs' and odd work hours, while Naruto and he were on the other side. The doors on both sides always remained open. Being so close made it easier to check up on each other and having a professional doctor on hand for Naruto was a necessity.

Sasuke's lips twitched because he knew one day everything would change. It was only a matter of time before Naruto popped the question to Hinata. Then it would just be two. Then one…

"I just feel bad for Tobi," Sakura said, breaking the comfortable silence in the room. "He's all alone in a den of lions."

The men shifted uncomfortably.

"Hn." Sasuke spoke for them; even he felt bad for his cousin getting involved with such evil people.

"I mean," Sakura shifted into a sitting position. "Do you think they torture him, pick on him, or make him cry? He's such a pure soul." The poor pillow was being ripped to shreds as the woman subconsciously began to pull at its fuzz in a frenzy.

"Yeah…" Naruto nodded. "I'm surprised he's made it this far."

"What if he hides his tears in his taffy?" Sakura muffled a sob in her pillow. "That's why it tastes so good."

Immediately Naruto dropped the taffy back into the bag, eyeing it suspiciously.

Sasuke gave a sigh before standing. "Tell me the next time you're off work for dinner and I'll invite Tobi to eat with us." He squeezed Sakura's shoulder. "Alright?"

Her big green eyes stared up at him for a moment before she broke into a smile. "Yep."

"Hn." The detective made his way back to his side of the house to finish work. For some reason, there was a nagging feeling in his gut. Something was changing and he didn't like it at all.

"Get some sleep, Sakura," Naruto smiled, "You look awful."

"That bad?"

"Bad enough for Sai to say you look pretty."

* * *

_*Well, this is the AU reality ItaSaku: One Big Mishap… Also known as a better re-written first chapter of 'They can't be touched'. I took the story down due to a change in the storyline that was unexpected. (aka ItaSaku) In later chapters it will become clear so don't expect everything to be super fast… I'm a snail pace person… _

_Also I think I am going to get yelled at for:_

_Tobi… Tobi = Madara's son _

_Konan eye color… In manga gray, in anime amber (according to naruto wiki); I chose the first…_

_I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I appreciate reviews, critiques or expressing your enjoyment, but they are not required… _

_Thank you for taking the time to read the story. _

_Mustsleep Z.z*_


	2. Oh Joyous Tuesday

_I don't own Naruto…_

**One Big Mishap**

**Ch 2: Oh Joyous Tuesday**

Pein tapped his pen on the oak desk as he glanced at the clock. The digits glowed red, the right side pulsing constantly as they counted out milliseconds. Just as all the numbers changed to three o'clock, the door handle twisted as someone opened the door. The boy was rarely late, Pein gave him that.

The dark amber eyes glared up at the black spiky hair as the man surveyed the room with deep navy blue eyes. At meeting the gaze the head dropped to look down at the floor as though it had become the most interesting thing in the world. That was not the case; Pein had made sure the floor was a solid black color, that way it could cause no distraction.

"Tobi," Pein sighed, "take a seat."

Slowly the man took a seat across the desk from the orange haired man. Surprisingly, as much as Pein believed he was elevated above others, the two chairs in the room were exactly the same. Same height, same brand, same color; Pein didn't need a grander chair to prove to the other person he was greater. As soon as the person walked in the door they would realize it; the aura of the room plainly spelled it out, he was the better and he was also in charge.

Tobi kept his eyes on his hands, fiddling with them openly and then inspecting under the nails as though he had never seen them before. It was obvious that he wasn't going to break the heavy tension in the room. Pein sat the pen back in its holder on the desk. Then he sighed, breaking the silence.

"That was close." It had been too close for his comfort and it was still too close for his comfort. So far he had received a very aggravated and colorful complaint from Hidan that they were all going to die because of this. No doubt he would receive more complaints after Itachi did his rounds.

"This is all going to fall on my head… You realize that don't you?" He had warned the boy countless times hadn't he? Things were just best left alone. Sometimes you couldn't fix what was broken.

Tobi nodded not daring to look up. Pein's fingers pinched the un-pierced section at the bridge of his nose.

"Do you know how angry Itachi would be if he knew? Do you know how this might actually affect him physiologically?"

"Tobi just wants us all to get along…"

"Do you know that if we fail there will be no 'getting along'?" Pein snarled at this whole situation. How had the kid talked him into doing this again?

The silence grew thick in the room and Pein sighed again. He was just a kid... Well, a child in an adult's body. It was a child's dream to believe that everyone could actually 'get along'. Feeble hopes and feeble dreams, such patheticness was one of the reasons Konan and he decided not to have children. Well, children other than Tobi… again he was just a child in an adult's body.

"I suggest that for all our sakes that we succeed…" Pein stopped, oh he almost forgot to add. "Before he finds out…" Having Itachi out for his blood did not sound like fun. "Alright?

Tobi sighed then nodded. "Tobi is sorry."

"I understand that Tobi, that was the only thing you said over the phone last night," Pein sighed, again. It was the only thing he said for the whole two hours while he was on the call.

"This is your plan, so I hope you have something else up your sleeve."

Tobi's eyes glinted; the navy blue almost looked as though it had picked up red specks. "But of course." A small smile, no, a smirk, made its way onto the man's features.

Pein shifted uncomfortably in his chair, somehow the aura in the room shifted…

"Don't worry; Tobi will succeed this time. Tobi's been given a once and a life time opportunity of infiltration." The high pitched voice sounded forced and if Pein was a lesser man, he would undoubtedly be running from the room.

"An opportunity?" The orange haired man asked as he regained his composer.

The glint was gone and the smirk lessened into a smile, that wasn't quite gentle but was not quite evil. "Tobi got invited to dinner!"

* * *

Itachi was a good person, well, in his opinion a good person. There had been times when he had to view the law as a guide line to get things done, but it had all been for the greater good. Therefore, he believed that when everything added up he was at least decent if not more so. But now he was left questioning himself.

Why was the world punishing him?

He had, of course, taken into consideration the countless frogs he had strapped to fireworks with his elder cousin, but those rested solely on Shisui's shoulders because technically it was his fault. He even had reminisced the days of giving his little brother a hard time when he was trying to learn how to ride a bike.

After all of his inner evaluations; he was left with a shaken belief in karma. This entire month had been against him, and it was inequitable.

Eight drug busts, twelve murders with only a few suspects under investigation and only several awaiting court, there was also the cropping of a new street gang; but, in truth, those were things he could handle. They were things he handled well. His whole month had been turned inside out and upside down because of 'The Cat Skinner' (to which the media rightly named). The crime scenes were horrendous, he literally skinned the cats (as well as cut out there internals) and from what his forensic men were saying, he skinned them while they were still alive.

As much as Itachi didn't care for the creatures, they most likely hadn't deserved it. Just as he didn't deserve all the crap he was getting for this. Finishing the details of the latest incident, Itachi finally let his cramped fingers release the pen. He slowly began filing through the papers, double checking to make sure they were all there; then he picked them all up and clipped them together. The onyx eyes glanced at the clock; the work day, had once again, ended without him.

His eyes then roamed the room before settling upon the big man before him. Kisame was chewing on taffy while polishing his new sniper, a gift from his FBI buddies, for the sixth time that hour. Itachi had known Kisame since freshman year and he knew when, like he was now, hiding something from him.

This month still had more to dish out, didn't it? Itachi wanted to ask allowed. At least it settled the inner debate in his mind. There was absolutely no such thing as Karma.

"Kisame…" Itachi stood, stretching from the long hours he had spent over the thick stack of papers in his hand.

The blue tinted man looked up from his work. "Yes?"

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Itachi slowly began to make his way across the room. He still needed to deliver the papers.

Immediate reply- "No." The head dipped down again and the man continued his work.

"Is that so?" Itachi paused in front of Kisame, which made all the hairs rise on the blue man's forearms. "I would prefer to hear it from you then from somebody else." Namely Hidan… The man lacked subtlety even more than his little brother's best friend.

Kisame almost shivered from the chill in his voice. It had been a tough week, no, an ugly looking month; he really didn't need this. Itachi knowing would make everything a lot worse. There was only so much emotion the man could hold in before he popped and when that happened there was no separation between 'work' and 'private life', which meant that Kisame would get the brute force of the blow no matter where he went.

"I've got nothing to say." Kisame replied nonchalantly, pulling it off better than the leader did at dinner the other night.

"Tch." Itachi continued on his way until he reached the door where he paused, holding it open. "Just remember Kisame; somebody always lets it slip. Somebody **always** lets it slip."

As the door clicked shut, Kisame shivered openly. Clutching the gun to his chest like a teddy bear he listened until he couldn't hear Itachi's boots click across the hall anymore. He would not want to be anywhere near Itachi if it slipped. In fact, he'd rather never be near him again.

But sadly… He was contracted to the psycho due to the social implications of 'best friend'.

This was going to be the worst week of his life; he could already tell.

* * *

Sakura hummed as she studied the recipe before applying the salt to the pot in front of her. She watched as the concoction below her bubble joyously. Smiling softly at the aroma the stew let off, Sakura gave a soft sigh.

"Smells good!" Naruto emphasized his sniffing before his stomach growled on its own accord.

Sakura giggled and then went back to studying the recipe in her hand. "When will Sasuke and Tobi get here?"

"Tobi said they were about five minutes away." Naruto's stomach growled in protest at the wait.

Both burst into laughter.

"Sweet, the food should be done by then." Sakura once again looked at the recipe. She was good at cooking; everything she had made was edible. There was the little known fact that, although her food was edible, something usually went wrong. And when Naruto said 'wrong', one could take it to heart that it was freak wrong.

Sasuke and Naruto never managed to figure out how she got the spaghetti and sauce to stick to the ceiling (heck Sakura didn't even know how it happened and she was in the room), but after the incident one of them always supervised her actions. But it wasn't to prevent her from making the mistake (both boys managed to burn food without even using a fire) but they all wanted to know how she managed to do it.

Unfortunately, Naruto didn't get to see her misfortunate, freak, cooking accident.

As soon as the timer went off, the door opened. Sakura turned off the stove and shut off the timer and then followed Naruto out of the kitchen to the living room.

"Tobi!" Sakura squealed seeing the young man beam an adorable smile at her.

Pink Puma was the only thing that went through Tobi's mind as he found himself being jumped on by the young doctor. To his surprise, though, he was then immediately let go.

"Sorry…" The woman blushed, "I forgot… no hugs."

Tobi gave one of his lopsided smiles, "Thank you."

Sakura smirked as she then pinched his cheek. "You're just too adorable for your own good!"

Tobi turned to bite her arm only for his teeth to clank together.

"Too slow." Sakura teased.

Then the entire house shook… It took two seconds before anyone understood that something had happened.

"Kitchen!" Naruto cried which got everyone to react.

Everyone burst into the kitchen only to drop their jaws in surprise.

"But Sakura?" Naruto asked in disbelief, being the first to gather himself.

"Y-y-yo-"Naruto stuttered in a loss for words. "You didn't even use the oven…"

There in the middle of the blue tiled kitchen floor laid the innocent looking oven door which was on the other side of the kitchen from the actual oven.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Sakura stared at the oven in shock. Sometimes it was best not to ask.

* * *

"This is good, Sakura," Tobi hummed as he drained his second bowl of barely of steak stew.

"Thanks," Sakura replied with a smile, "Not as good as candy though, eh?"

Tobi chuckled. "No, but you can't have candy all the time… Sadly." The four of them burst into laughter.

"This is just like in high school; you should come over more often Tobi," Naruto said as he began to refill both of their bowls.

"Yea, it's been awhile hasn't it?" Tobi murmured more to himself then to those in the room.

"Hn."

Tobi glanced up at his cousin and smiled. He was surprised to see how well they still got along, even more surprised to see how quickly he fit in with them.

"You guys should come to my place sometime too and let me cook for you," Tobi began, but immediately all three froze. The navy blue eyes glinted as Tobi wanted to start banging his head on the table in anger at how childish they all acted.

"Deidara is really easy going-" He tried to break the ice, without any luck. The two boys began to shiver as though the air condition sat right behind them.

This was really pathetic…

"-and he's rarely ever there. He usually visits and stays with his sister." They unfroze as though there had never been a chill to begin with.

"Maybe we should," Sakura smiled, "as long as 'they' aren't there," she quickly added.

"Speaking of Ino, how is she doing?" Naruto asked in raw curiosity. It had been about a month since she had bothered to give him a call; which was extremely odd, since she usually gave him advice on his relationship with Hinata weekly.

"Good. From what I hear she keeps Sasori in his place." Tobi mentally sighed as he knew he was going to get a reaction out of this one.

He wasn't disappointed. All three of the individuals chuckled darkly at the thought of the red haired man getting a load of the gossiping blond.

"Good to hear that piggy can keep her man." Sakura smiled.

More dark chuckling at the several meanings the phrase could possibly have.

Tobi, again, mentally sighed. This was exactly like in their high school days.

"Aw… I wish you guys would get along, we could have so much fun together." He could give it another shot, right? He could actually see them sitting at the Akatsuki dinner and fitting in. It was actually scary how well they'd fit in. Again, they were back on frozen ground it seemed.

"That's if fun includes flushies-" Naruto growled.

"hn… or trash dips." Sasuke snarled.

"… Or being pushed down the stairs." Sakura looked ready to burst into tears.

Tobi's eyes grew wide, "They pushed you down a stair case Sakura!" That was something Pein forgot to mention. They were going to have a long talk in his office.

"Freaking almost broke her arm sophomore year," Sasuke muttered under his breath in anger.

Ah, yes; blue eyes narrowed, he had transferred junior year.

"Well," Sakura bit her bottom lip, "they didn't actually do it…"

Tobi watched her in confusion; it didn't seem to be making any sense. Why blame someone for wrong doing if they didn't do it.

Sakura sighed seeing his confusion. "Their fan club did it because of all the special treatment from Iceman and Gills."

"Ah…" That made sense. Wait. No it didn't. "Who?"

Everyone but Tobi shivered in unison before Sakura answered. "Itachi and Kisame."

"They gave you 'special treatment'?" Tobi carefully treaded. He knew where this was going.

Sakura twitched. "At first I thought they were nice; carrying my books, holding open doors, offering to tutor me. No… It was all just a part of their plan." Her right hand spazzed on top of the table until it was controlled into a tight fist.

"Their googly-eyed fan girls turned into rabid wolves and tried to kill me." Sakura's top lip pulled up subconsciously showing off her teeth.

"'They' knew exactly what they were doing." Tobi could hear the pain that seemed to be etched in her voice.

"They made my life in high school hell!" Sakura slammed her hand onto the table. It was a good thing it was made out of metal, but even so… Tobi eyed the dent mark with care; once again he was reminded as to why he installed Plexiglas at his shop.

Tobi groaned inwardly, at least he wasn't missing anymore pieces to the puzzle. "Are you sure it wasn't just a misunder-"

"It was part of 'their' plan!" Three voices spat at once.

Well, there went trying to find a middle ground.

"But don't worry too much about it… We made them pay for her fractured leg and arm," Sasuke growled.

Tobi inspected the faces of the younger adults; all that he saw was misguided panic, fear and anger. They were too beyond reason to see reality. This was going to be tougher than he bargained for. It was no wonder why Pein had been so against it. Tobi wondered if even the leader knew their side of the story.

* * *

Tobi waved Sasuke off as he opened the door to the beautiful three-story home. Walking in, one would come to believe that they had entered the movie 'the Labyrinth' with all the stair cases going in every direction, with each painted in a series of illusional hues of red. Of course, one would expect nothing else but that from the famous architect that resided within the building.

Candy wasn't as popular with the new health craze so Tobi could barely keep the shop running as it was. It was a good thing he had friends, very good friends. In fact, almost all of the Akatsuki's houses were in walking distance of each other, just in case anything happened.

Placing the keys in the bowl, which was on a stair case that was designed as a counter, Tobi headed into the living room where several voices over lapped the quiet TV.

"Look, Itachi, I don't know anything, un!" The blond's voice filled the downstairs.

A low growl responded, "Something is going on behind my back-"

"Cousin!" Tobi chose to make his appearance and glomped his older cousin. Itachi turned his attention from the long haired blond and directed his gaze to the fuzzy black head.

"Tobi," the man looked up at the name, "Is something going on?"

Tobi opened his eyes wider like a child. The more innocent looking the better. "If there was, would Tobi know?"

Itachi cocked his head to the side, judging his younger cousin. He was the talker, no secrets were held in his lips, well, excluding the Akatsuki's five. Well at least that's what he thought… it was beginning to sound like there was more than five because there seemed to be something nobody was telling him.

"No, probably not." Tobi had slipped up; he probably had no more information. The man then lifted his gaze to the blond, who was sweating like a guinea pig who had been on the wheel for several hours. It was doubtful the blond would know either, because he would undoubtedly tell the talker.

"Let me buy dinner?" The stotic Uchiha never apologized.

"Tobi ate, thank you though." Tobi beamed a smile at the older Uchiha. The man's stern gaze lightened some.

"I just worked out, un." That explained the sweat.

"Very well, I shall take my leave." And with that the Uchiha glided out of the room and out the front door with aristocratic elegance.

'Did he bug the place?' Tobi quickly signed to the blond.

'Not that I saw. Didn't see him enter, was in the kitchen.' Deidara replied.

The TV was the only sound in the house as the two stood perfectly still for fifteen minutes. The young reporter went over 'the cat skinner' case for the fifth time when Deidara finally broke the silence.

"Want to tell me what's going on, un?"

Tobi shifted his hands behind his back, crossing his fingers in hope that his cousin wasn't using state money to spy on them…or using his own private collection…

"Tobi believes that both sides have had a misunderstanding."

"Both sides?" Deidara asked… then froze. "THEM!"

"Shh!"

The blond haired man dropped his voice to a shrieking whisper. "When have you been in contact with them! They'll pretend to be your friend and then rip you to shreds! What the _x.X_ are you thinking? Look, un, they were the ones who-"

The front door opened then slammed shut. Immediately both adults froze fearing the worst. Two seconds later a white haired man, who looked far worse for wear, appeared in the doorway. "Who the _x.X_ wants to explain why the _x.X_x.X_x.X_ Uchiha tried to _x.X_ _x.X_ information out of me?"

Several seconds of silence greeted his outburst.

"Wow, un, he must have been desperate if he went to you."

_

* * *

_

***Well this would Ch 2…

_Thank you those that favorited and alerted._

_A special thank you to Kudomeya and Akatsuki Sakura Uchiha for reviewing! I really appreciated it. _

_I am rather slow in setting all of this up huh…_

_Told you I'm snail paced… _

_Thank you for taking the time to read my story _

_Mustsleep Z.z***_


	3. Oh What a Lovely Wednesday

**One Big Mishap**

_Yup, Yup; finally an update for this story… found it in one of my email draft boxes X.x its best not to ask sometimes….I really wish I hadn't written Collapse in present tense, it's really challenging to switch between present and past grr. _

Anyways **RATED T** for a reason… graphics for those of you who may have queasy stomachs –not too much but a prior warning necessary.

_I'm a tad bit iffy on the story in general but I hope it clears up some questions, but makes you ask more (insert evil laugh) jk. _

_Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Reviews are appreciated, whether critiquing or otherwise. _

_Z.z (I almost typed my real name O.o) _

**Chapter 3: Oh What a Lovely Wednesday**

Kisame was beginning to listen to the one government agency he never thought he'd listen to, homeland security. He always thought he would be able to tough out anything; be it earthquake, tornado, or Armageddon, because heck, he lived in a reinforce bomb shelter and quarantine proofed home (which he was still paying off.)

He didn't only trust his house though; if chaos were to break out into the world he believed he would have the Akatsuki to back him up, because there was no doubt Pein would use the whole thing to his advantage and create a utopia.

But now… Kisame wasn't sure on where he could put his cards. In other words, he was packing an emergency bag. He'd heard that Kakazu was planning on moving his bank headquarters somewhere far, far away. The man was genius. And it was Kisame's belief that when the smart guy booked it; it was time to get moving too.

Everyone was still holding their breath though. But Kisame had a gut feeling that someone was going to let it slip, just like Itachi said. If it had been anything like last time he doubted he would be able to pull his best friend back from insanity. The man was socially incapable of handling his own emotions; that had been proven senior year. The mental breakdown he had was only known to those inside of the Akatsuki. It was one of the five secrets that were _never_ **ever** spoken about.

If it happened again… Kisame slammed another pair of jeans into the bag. The Akatsuki would take the blunt of the blow, like always. Tobi hadn't been thinking clearly at all or maybe too much…

If things did work out between them (miraculously) then everything would be fine; in fact it would be more than fine. Kisame enjoyed playing around with the blond haired kid Naruto, the man was so full enthusiasm and determination that it was likely the man would challenge him in some sort of athletic event. Kisame reveled in such challenges.

Sasuke… the odd child was always an interesting thing to poke at. And Sakura, it would be good to see Itachi have fun again. The guy had been a stick in the mud for a while.

Kisame tilted his head back and his eyes caught on the calendar over his air sealed door. It was Wednesday. He hated Wednesdays, to be more precise, he hated Wednesday nights with a passion.

Kisame grabbed his keys off of a sniper rifle barrel and quickly pressed in the code to open the door. Hopefully he could catch up with Itachi before he left. The door slid open and Kisame bolted up the staircase to the garage while dialing on his cellphone. He hated going anywhere in Itachi's car…

Itachi rested back against the warm leather seat of _his_ car. As usual, he had gotten himself dinner and was currently munching on a gyro from the only restaurant that was on his side of the highway, the highway across from Floyer's Laundry. He had worried constantly about being routine, but eventually he had relaxed because everyone else's lives weren't routine.

The passenger side opened and the big, blue man stepped in. Crinkling the foil back, he unwrapped his own Greek meal.

The blue Galaxy, the one Itachi had been waiting for, pulled into the laundry mat's parking. He sat up straight. The pink haired woman pulled her basket from the back seat and strode into the building. Her hair, which was in a messy bun, was being attacked by the wind and her clothes hugged her loosely. Itachi had to admit the boy's were smart in making her look 'owned'.

"You know, she races home on Meridian Street; why don't we set up a cop watch and bring her in?" Kisame asked while reaching for Itachi's soda.

He was too slow.

"Yes, I do know. She already hates me, why make it worse?" Itachi said with an irritated tone.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, she hates me too."

"It doesn't." Itachi took a sip from his drink and his eyes remained focused on the woman making her way into the building.

Kisame sighed, "Just go talk to her for Pete's sake."

"I tried…" Itachi murmured, "remember?"

"That doesn't count. The hospital is under her jurisdiction and she rules it with an iron thumb. And you were under the influence of morphine. Now, next week bring your laundry and go down there and use the laundry machine next to her. And if she's on call, then stick to the same plan for the week after."

"Hnn."

"Don't 'hn' me, Uchiha; and definitely don't 'hn' her. "

Suddenly the engine was on and they were flipped in reverse. Thankfully, Itachi, due to his captain status, drove his own personal, registered, unmarked police car.

"What?"

"Black SUV. Guy, cat, laundry mat." Itachi flipped his lights. Getting over there was going to be hell, several intersections and a highway. It was a wonder the Greek restaurant had any customers at all.

Sakura swore someone was killing a baby with all the screeches going on outside. She glanced around, the place was never busy on Wednesdays and the only other person was a college student with ear phones in.

Sakura sighed, she would just peek; just to make sure it was a fussy kid or animal and that no one was being hurt. Sakura slipped out the front, no one. The screeches were coming from behind the building. The blood curdling cries were wrenching her heart out; but she walked carefully making sure to be quiet. Although, it was doubtful any one could hear footsteps with all the screams. Today she had worn sneakers, dumb luck and sore feet were paying off; clipping heels usually did attract attention.

Her hand wrapped around the pepper spray in her purse, the crying had stopped.

As she turned the corner her body froze and her mind went numb. Even with all the days she'd spent at the hospital, in surgery rooms; she'd never seen something so unclean, so messy, _so evil_. It looked like it had been some sort of animal and the man was holding the pelt with the hand that held the knife and was continuing to dismember the extremities of the bloody heap he held with his other hand.

The screeches, Sakura thought, meant the animal had been alive, when… alive when… Sakura couldn't think of a word to explain it.

The man looked up just by chance and that's when Sakura noticed how close they were. She had unconsciously been taking steps forward. The man's yellow glinting eyes narrowed.

He was fast and was behind her in seconds. The bloody blade was at her throat and her body was pressed against him.

"Bet you'd look pretty all," he felt the need to show her the knife, "skinned up."

Sakura gulped and her fingers clung to her pepper spray, he was too close for her to use it, he would swipe and slice her with the blade.

A siren boomed out as a black Tarus came into view twenty feet away from them. In a flash a tall blue man was out of the driver's seat, standing in front of them, holding out a badge and gun. "Put the weapon down, sir."

"Don't you dare." The man gripped Sakura tighter, causing her to cry out in pain. "If you don't put the gun down, I'll—I'll slice her throat."

Sakura raised an eyebrow at Kisame. He hated Fords. It hit her then and she took her chance.

She pulled out the container, ducked, and then pressed the button looking away, aiming it at his face. He gave a strangled cry and then she could feel the air rush at her as he swung his arm.

Her body flinched but something tugged her away. There was a large snap and a cry, and then she felt herself against something warm. It had only been a second, her eyes blinked open. Her face was pressed against something soft but steely.

"Sh** the man's fast!" a gruff voice called out from somewhere to her right.

Sakura pulled back and looked up at the smooth pale face above her. She quickly looked around. Kisame and the man were both gone.

"Sakura—" Patient coal eyes looked down at her, "are you alright?"

She let out a shaky breath and tried to let go of Itachi's shirt. Her eyes scanned over the bloody mess and she tightened her hold. It could have been her. It _would_ have been her, if he hadn't shown up.

He pulled her into a tight hug before he pushed her slightly away. His calloused hands lifted up her chin, inspecting her neck where the knife had been held. There wasn't even a scratch.

"I'm glad you're ok," He said giving her a reassuring smile.

She blinked, instinct told her he was lying; but he really looked like he meant it. Just like when he'd meant it back then.

She'd been a mess just like now except it had been under massive different circumstances. She'd just fallen into a wet puddle outside of high school. It had been one of the first days of her freshman year and she'd decided it would be best to stay in the puddle instead of going to class drenched and muddy; least she would have been made fun of.

After about five minutes two hands had literally picked her up like she'd been a doll. He'd been shorter, much shorter; but his eyes were gentle and patient, they hadn't changed.

He'd laughed then, glad that she was ok and hadn't drowned in the puddle. And the boy's blue friend had added that it wouldn't have been too hard to believe for she was quite short.

He wasn't laughing now. His mouth was set in a firm line as his eyes glanced to the woods, there'd been no cries for help; but his partner was still in there. His best friend was in the woods alone. She wanted to tell him to go after Kisame, but her lips don't seem able to form the words. She didn't want to be left alone, just in case the man returned.

Her pink locks fell from her bun as she tilted her head down; blood splatter lay under her shoes. It wasn't the time to think about the past or anything other than the matter at hand...Not when… Her eyes went to the sprawled skinless lump.

Her entire body shook, as though there was a tiny earthquake below her. Once again the man beside her had a firm grip on her.

"Let's get you a seat," he said quietly as he guided her around the majority of mess to his car. The driver door was still open and he extended his hand to the leather seat. As he realized she wasn't looking at him, but back at the hump of red mess the car was facing, he tugged at her shoulder.

Her green eyes flickered to him, an empty presence within them. "It would have been me, huh?" she said barely above a whisper.

He opened his mouth to say something but was caught off guard as she suddenly hugged him with a force he forgot she could muster. Her body shook as silent tears fell down her cheeks.

Shock… She was going through shock…

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. One of his hands began putting stray hairs back into her bun.

He could hear several sirens coming closer and finally the first car came into view.

"Captain," the man said as he jumped out.

Itachi gave him a nod. "Arthur, this is Miss Haruno; she was a witness to the incident. Would you mind getting her statement… you can get mine when I get back; Kisame is in the woods alone with the man."

"So it's a man…" Arthur's blue eyes looked at the faint marks of blood, the real scene hidden by the Tarus.

"Arthur…"

"Yes, sir!"

Itachi removed Sakura's arms and held up her face. "Give the cop your statement, I'll be right back."

The green eyes looked unclear but her head nodded, perhaps just in agreement.

Itachi glanced at the woods and began going forward as several more cars arrived in the back parking lot.

Several more men in uniform stepped out of the cars looking at the girl, the mess, then at Itachi for direction.

"The man was last seen entering the woods, Kisame is in there too; we'll want to—"

Long, filthy streams of swear words alerted everyone to the presence of the blue man as he walked out of the woods.

Kisame slammed his way through the bushes, hacking at them with his giant hands. "Lost him in the woods, can't believe it. He was way too fast. That wasn't normal."

Coal eyes narrowed in agreement and thought. The man had been abnormally fast and extremely quick on his toes.

"We got a description though, he can't run forever," Itachi finally spoke, glancing at the cops around them. "Get the license off the black SUV in front of the store, he parked it to the left of the doors near the ATM; he took the cat out of the back and walked it around with him. We might get lucky, perhaps it's not stolen. The man threatened a young woman of our city tonight; it seems he thinks he's ready to move from animals. Find him."

The officers nodded solemnly and began to take action; more cop cars began to arrive.

"Officer Steward, get Kisame's statement," a light cheerful voice rang through the chatter and footsteps. "I'll get Itachi's."

Itachi's eyes swept over the line of vehicles before landing on the speaker. The black spikey hair was a good sight to see.

"Yes, Chief Shisui," Steward replied.

The once detective and cop made his way over to Itachi. "Guess it's about time I made my showcase, you alright cousin?"

It was good to hear that in public it was no longer 'baby cousin'. Itachi gave nod, "Fine."

Shisui pulled a notebook from his breast pocket, "Alright. What happened?"

"Kisame and I were eating at the Greek restaurant across the highway from the building. We were both eating in the car and I saw a man grab a cat from the back of his car and then saw him proceed to go around to the back of the building. I told Kisame to call it in, while I tried to get across. When we got into the parking lot, I got out and allowed Kisame to drive my vehicle. The plan was to eliminate some of his exits as I was to go around one side and Kisame the other. As I was going around the other side of the building I heard Kisame blare the siren of my car. I quickened my pace and then saw that a man had a knife to a woman's throat."

Itachi took a breath then continued, "The woman tried to get away from him by using pepper spray. He swiped at her and I grabbed her and yanked her away. I disarmed the knife he was using but he took off. Kisame went after him. I stayed to make sure the woman was alright."

"That Sakura was alright," Shisui corrected slyly.

There was only one other person that could read Itachi better than Kisame… And that was Shisui…

"Yes, I stayed to make sure Sakura was alright. We were high school friends," Itachi watched as Shisui stared at him, a smile etching its way across his face, "for the record." Itachi tapped the notebook.

Shisui smiled, "Of course, for the record…" The thin pale fingers scribbled down whatever the older man thought he had to know. "You got here fairly fast. What luck to have a captain and officer of the police force so close and for them to actually see everything so clearly."

"What can I say Shisui, Greek food is one of my favorites," Itachi gently smiled hoping his cousin would stop his interrogation.

"I've never been to that one; it's a tad bit difficult to get to. It does give a nice view of the Laundry mat though…"

"Shisui… don't you want to catch the Cat Skinner? Should you be focused more upon—"

"Please Itachi, I just wanted to understand the details; get a clearer picture of what was going on," Shisui said a wolf-ish like grin on his face.

How his cousin could be so relaxed was beyond Itachi.

At least Shisui finally seemed to get that now was not the time to get 'private' information from his cousin. "Can you give a description?"

"Black hair was about lower back length and untied. His eyes were yellow, he was wearing a white t-shirt and black pants; maybe combat boots?" Itachi tried to remember but there it was an adrenaline blur… There was purple though… "I think he was wearing a purple belt, there was definitely purple on him."

"Odd," Shisui hummed, scribbling down the description. "Was he wearing gloves?"

"Yes, black."

"Guess that means we won't get an id from the knife unless you managed to knock the knife into him."

"I wasn't."

Shisui rubbed his forehead the pinched the bridge of his nose. "We'll get him. Start a man hunt… or something…" Man hunts reserved for those that had harmed humans, or kidnappers. Shisui would have to persuade his bosses that it was a necessary.

"Well, you're off duty tonight—"

"I'm staying; I'll help comb the woods."

Shisui's dark eyes glinted and his mouth opened but before he could yell, a sound of a choking cry got both of their attentions.

Sakura was clinging to a stunned Andrew.

"Alright, you escort Miss Haruno home, or to the hospital; your choice. Make sure she stays safe. Most people don't like to be caught red-handed with their dirty little secrets. He may try to backlash on her or on you and Kisame."

At first Itachi thought Shisui was trying to start something but noted that he was dead serious.

"If he is leaning to killing people then he will start to match a serial killer profile… If we ever catch him, it would be good for him if three eye-witnesses were unable to testify." Shisui then smiled, the seriousness gone. "Good luck, baby cuz," Shisui said with a wink.

Itachi's mouth twitched but he followed the Chief's orders and walked over to Sakura to pry her off the flustered Andrew.

"Sakura," Itachi said tugging Andrew free. The woman clutched at Itachi's sleeves her body shaking; sometimes things were a tad bit too hard for people to take. Pictures of the scenes hadn't been released to the public because of their gruesomeness and because they didn't want copy-catters (no pun intended)… Sakura had only seen part of the mess; Itachi had been to several others where all parts of the cat had been separated. Some officers hadn't been able to stomach it. It was more than butchery or a simple hunting skin; there was massive brutality that few had ever seen before.

Itachi grabbed her chin. "If you don't stop right this instance, I will take you to the hospital and they'll put you on leave until you have completed several shrink sessions."

That got her attention. Her eyes focused on Itachi's coal eyes.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

Sakura shook her head, "No."

"Ok," Itachi said tapping her forehead playfully. "Ready to go home?"

"M—My laundry is still in the building. I got shopping to do to. I'm fine I don't need an escort," her fingers had let go of him and were now clutching the hem of her shirt. Her arms seemed to vibrate.

"I'm not going to allow you to drive in this condition. I'll take you home," He guided the woman around the front of the building and into the front. "May I borrow your cell phone?"

"Yeah, sure," she handed him her phone.

"I'll be right outside the front, I need to make a couple calls," Itachi said giving her privacy to put her own clothes in the dryer.

Itachi quickly flipped her phone open and then pulled his out of his pocket. He quickly shifted through the numbers looking for two in particular. He quickly transferred both his brother's and Naruto's numbers to his phone. He didn't have them, not since they graduated high school.

He closed his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. Then he called Naruto's cell using Sakura's phone. It was more likely for them to answer for her cell then for a stranger's number.

"Hello, Sakura?" a voice whispered groggily over the phone.

Itachi took a breath. "Uzumaki," Itachi stated.

"Itachi! How the _ did you get Sakura's phone? Where is she? What did you do to her!"

"Naruto, shut up and listen, where are you?" Itachi asked ignoring Naruto's questions.

"What?"

"Are you in town, at this very moment?"

"No, I'm down south, been following a large bounty for a couple days. Why? You think you can hold Sakura hostage?"

Itachi wanted to throw the phone at the boy's insolence, "No. Sakura was involved in a criminal case. I wanted to make sure she had people near her when she got home."

There was a pause on the phone, as Naruto realized that Itachi wasn't holding Sakura hostage. "Is she ok?"

"Other than a little shaken, she's fine and uninjured," Itachi said, "I'll call my brother, see if he's close."

There was silence on the other line as the bounty hunter debated going home. Itachi watched his police officers taking fingerprints and multiple cats in cages out of the SUV.

"He works in the city, there shouldn't be a problem. I'm police officer Naruto, my duty to keep civilians safe comes before personal conflict; I'll make sure she's alright. I'll assign some officers for her protection or offer her the choice of going to Ino's."

Itachi could hear Naruto's breath release. "Alright, thanks," the voice sounded dry, upset, but serious.

"Hn." Itachi answered before hanging up. The next number he dialed was his brother's.

"Hello, Sasuke is out at the moment doing some _good_ investigating; how may I help you," a giggling voice answered his brother's cell.

Itachi inwardly sighed at his brother's choice in secretaries. There was no way he would leave an important message to a girl, so he hung up. His eyes followed the movements of the officers. They were vacuuming the car for hairs, using black lights for blood.

"Did we get a match on the car?" Itachi asked one of the officers as he was heading back to the main group.

"Yes, it was reported stolen about a month ago sir," the officer replied, continuing on his way.

Itachi wanted to take lead, track the man down; do something. Maybe it was better for him to take a break though. Anger and irritation would lead to mistakes, not to mention it had become a personal matter for him. Shisui was good at remaining calm; he was the better man for the job.

"All done?" Sakura asked from behind him.

"Yes," Itachi said handing her back her phone. "Naruto is too far away and I was unable to reach Sasuke."

"You called them?" she snarled, green eyes narrowing. "How dare you! They have jobs; I don't need a babysitter if that's what you're thinking." She huffed balancing her clothes basket on her hip as she flipped through her phone as if she expected that he had text messaged the mafia.

"Your keys?" Itachi asked holding out his hand.

"What?... No! I am perfectly fine, I can drive myself," Sakura demanded.

"Of course, that's why you're shaking like a leaf…" Itachi said stating the obvious. Her basket looked as though it was vibrating. She definitely wasn't ok.

Several officers working on the SUV started snickering.

Sakura tried to still her arm, it didn't do anything.

"Would you rather that I drive you in my car," assuming Kisame hadn't taken off with it yet, "and yours stayed here?" Itachi knew that ultimatums worked best on Sakura.

"It seems odd that a police officer would escort a victim home," Sakura said loud enough for the other officers to hear her.

"I'm not 'escorting' you because I am an officer; I'm a concerned friend, Sakura. But if you would prefer it that I take several officers off the hunt for the madman so you can get an escort—"

The woman snatched her keys from her purse and threw them at Itachi. He caught them easily and the men in the car began laughing openly.

"It's the blue one," Sakura grumbled her cheeks taking on a red hue.

"Hn."

"… Don't 'hn' me, Uchiha."

It was when they were halfway to her home that he decided it was best to lay out her options.

"Sakura…"

She looked at him, eyebrows raised already irritated at the tone of his voice.

"I would very much prefer it that you stay at a friend's house tonight. Maybe Ino's or Hinata's?" Itachi said but it was clear that it was an option, not a suggestion. Already he could see she was upset.

"I'm fine," Sakura said finality in her tone.

"Alright then, I'll have some patrol cars—"

"I'll go to Ino's!" She snapped turning her head to look out the window.

"It's not because you need a babysitter," Itachi began, wanting to somehow tell her that a madman might try to kill her without telling her a madman might actually try to kill her. Itachi sighed. "Look, assuming this man might become a serial killer, which most animal psychotics become, it's possible he could come looking for the person he deems responsible for his discovery."

He turned to look to see how she was taking the information. Her head was bent low in thought and her eyes flickered from side to side. "He's going to come after me?"

"There's a small chance; but it's a chance I'd rather not take."

She breathed in deeply, probably to prevent herself from hyperventilating. She was no longer shaking. "I'll go to Ino's."

"Ok," Itachi turned into her driveway. "I'll have Kisame come pick me up, unless you want me to drive you over there?"

"I'll be fine," Sakura nodded more to herself than to him.

Itachi handed her back the keys and touched the top of her head. "If you need anything let me know."

"Of course," they both got out of the vehicle.

Sakura walked up to her door then turned. "Thank you, Itachi."

He dipped his head in reply and watched her go inside. At first he wanted to call Sasori but knew Ino was probably filling his head with all the details Sakura was telling her. Itachi sighed and walked up to the door and sat. He would make sure that Sakura left safely.

Sasori, although emotionless, could pack one heck of a punch. He was also calculative and creative; he would be able to keep Sakura safe.

After thirty minutes of waiting, Itachi realized that it took women a lot longer to get ready than men.

After an hour, Itachi believed women were unreasonable.

After about two hours, Itachi hear the clicking locks of windows and movement of chairs and he understood Sakura was just being an irrational child.

He walked up to the door and knocked.

There was no reply at first; all the slamming and dragging of objects in the house had come to a cease.

Then the door was brashly opened revealing a thinly clad Sakura with a metal bat in hand. It was pulled back and her arms were taunt, as if ready to hit a ball, or more directly, an enemy.

"Itachi?" she asked after a long pause.

In two seconds, Itachi disarmed the bat from her hands and looked down at her. "You think this was going to stop an intruder?"

Her eyes had grown wide at how fast he had moved, and she only nodded her head dumbly.

Itachi sighed and sat the bat down by the side of the door. "May I come in?"

Sakura stepped aside, grabbing the bat.

He walked in, trying to keep his eyes on the surroundings than on the pale skin of her legs that was revealed by sleeping shorts.

His eyes looked at the door to the connecting home; it was blocked by a chair. All the window blinds had been shut and turned; there were also metal pipes in the windows, as if locks were not enough.

He turned to Sakura and gave a nod, "Good lock up, but… Don't answer the door next time."

She pulled at the hem of her over shirt, most likely belonging to Naruto by its neon color; it could almost reach the end of her shorts.

Itachi diverted his eyes from her body and began making his way through her house, she hadn't said to get out and he took that as an open invitation. He stopped at the kitchen noting the oven door leaning by the entry way. "Do I want to know?" he asked.

He finally got a tiny smile from her. "I was cooking dinner for the boys, using the stove top actually.  
Remember the time I got you, Shisui, and Kisame coated in brownie mix?"

He had to laugh at that one, and she did too, except her voice shook.

"And to think you were making cookies too…"Itachi led on.

Her laugh came more easily then.

He gave a smile and then walked to her and held her in his arms. He brushed the top of her head. It had been too long. It had been years since he'd been able to even talk to her normally. They'd been so close. Then with one fatal swoop she'd been gone.

"You, Uchihas are so weird. Your super stern but like to hug more than all of your male family members…except maybe Shisui but then again he's a pervert; and Tobi is suppose to be the childish one but he hates hugs more than anyone I've ever met, including Sasuke."

That had caught Itachi off-guard, "Tobi doesn't like hugs?"

"You didn't know?" Sakura asked looking up at him. "I see him all the time and if I accidently forget and hug him he freezes like stone. He said he can't stand it."

Itachi blinked down at her. "You see him all the time?"

"The poor guy barely has any customers," suddenly Sakura pulled away from him, "and he isn't tainted by the likes of you and your Akatsuki."

Itachi wanted to face palm… They had come back to that. Sometimes it was best to just ignore his brother's little feeble lies that had a grip on Sakura. One day she would see them as they truly were.

He would play the game though, "Tonight I'm not Akatsuki. I'm just a friend."

Her head tilted to the side, suspicion clear in her vivid green eyes, "You promise no tricky stuff."

"I promise."

She seemed to sigh in relief.

"Do want me to stay, just to make sure no one comes in? Tomorrow Kisame can pick me up on the way into work," Itachi suggested, now that he had her trust.

"You don't have to do that," she said, but it was clear that that was what she wanted. She was scared of being alone.

"I don't mind."

"Thanks," she said blush tainting her cheeks. "Well what do you want to do, _friend_?"

"I'm fine with whatever; I haven't been to a sleepover in years, I guess we could paint toes," he teased.

At that she laughed. "You know, I think purple is your color. But if that isn't an appealing option do you still like those soap operas. I have them all recorded on my TiVo; if you don't mind watching them, I need to catch up."

"It sounds good."

At the coming of midnight, she was fast asleep in his arms her back to him. He moved away the popcorn she deemed necessary and turned off the show.

He didn't enjoy them, although she thought he did. He'd learned early on in high school that she enjoyed such shows, so he made great pains to either a, watch them, or b, read the transcripts, that way he could talk to her about them at school. She had been enamored by it.

Back then.

He closed his eyes taking in her sweet scent. One day whatever feeble, pathetic, idiotic, foolish thing his brother had told her would dissipate. After all, it was hard to deny truth when it was obvious. He sighed; he should have acted faster back then, and had gotten her initiated into the 'club'. But he'd been slow, and his little brother had filled her head with lies.

Well, not all lies. He had tortured his brother in high school with only one aim in mind; to make him a better man. The little boy had continuously been, 'aniki this and aniki that', it had been unhealthy. By changing into a villain Itachi had hoped that whatever attachment issue Sasuke suffered would be broken and the boy would be able to get on with his life.

But dumping him in trashcans, spray painting his first car, dying his underwear pink (under the advice of Shisui) had done nothing but make whatever issue his brother had worse.

Now he was literally being stalked by his brother, being investigated by his brother, being target by his brother's groupies… the list just went on and on.

Itachi thought it would go away by high school's end and it seemed to by his senior year. But little did he know that his brother had been planning a get-back-at-the-evil-Itachi. His brother had struck low and hard. That had gotten the Akatsuki involved.

Itachi just may have overreacted, a bit… And that in turn had caused the Akatsuki to backlash, causing almost war like scenarios.

Itachi opened his eyes and grabbed the throw on the couch and tossed it over the two of them. He turned the TV back on, on mute and closed captions. And then he turned the news on.

Shisui's face filled the screen, and a dark forest was behind him. His cousin was holding up a drawn picture of the man, it was eerily accurate.

Itachi tilted his head to the side, for some reason the man seemed very familiar now that Itachi wasn't suffering from an adrenaline rush.

But it wouldn't come to him.

Itachi turned off the TV and closed his eyes. Once he got some sleep, it would come. He tightened his hold on her as he drifted off.

The lights on the clock flickered to midnight.

_/The chapter is named Wednesday for a reason . did you think I was going to keep going. :P_

_/It may seem like she trusts him, when she was so angry at first but hey, blame hormones and madmen holding knives: they make people do things. _


	4. Thursday Oh How Fun!

_Chapter 4 of One Big Mishap_

_**Again I would like to remind people that this is rated T for a reason. Pre-warning for a violence scene and implied foul language. **_

_Although you might believe that some characters have/may have been taken out of character, stressful situations (and being shot) can influence a person's emotions extremely. That and __**these characters have not been trained to be ninjas **__(well not all of them)…_

_Hopefully I covered enough grounds to make people happy. I have given warnings._

_Why did the update take so long? Well… besides being stressed, I've been lazy. The story has been done for ~aprox of 4 days but I kept on finding mistakes. _

_Well thank you for taking the time to read my story, hopefully it's at least decent. _

_z.z_

**Thursdays oh how fun! Part One of Two**

Tobi stood to the side watching his older cousin pace back and forth in the small room they were in. It would take the man two steps to reach each side, which only made him turn abruptly and start again. The man was very upset but he hadn't spoken a word to Tobi about the problem. That was how he was; the man brooded inside of his head, never letting the world know what he was thinking. Most people took it for idiocy, especially when he chose limited words, but the truth was the man's thoughts were so complex that when he put words to thoughts he tried to simplify or sum-up his ideas to a point where anyone could understand. It was bothersome though, Itachi was one of the few people Tobi could not understand.

Coal eyes met the younger man's own blue and then Itachi sighed, finally stopping his pacing. The tall man rested back against the counter top of the kitchen and began scrutinizing Tobi. Such actions were another reason why Tobi found being in a room with Itachi uncomfortable. It was like the man was staring into his soul. But Itachi hadn't figured it out yet, because if he had, Tobi would have been thrown out of the house.

The younger man smiled, "Tobi wants to know what's wrong with Itachi."

The coal eyes seemed to harden. "You see Sakura, Naruto and my brother on a regular basis?"

Tobi closed his eyes and stretched his neck to look at the ceiling before looking back at Itachi. Determining what to say was hard, Itachi was impossible to read. "Is Itachi mad?"

The man sighed and dragged a hand through his long hair. "Of course I'm not mad at you, Tobi; who you choose to be friends with is your choice."

Relief filled the blue eyed man.

"I assume this has to do with the 'big secret' everyone has been trying to hide from me."

Tobi nodded.

Itachi sighed again. "At the moment, I don't really care. But I am disappointed in you, Tobi. Most members of the Akatsuki hate the three of them, Hidan and Deidara especially. They would be the ones angry at you. Why would you think I would be angry?"

So, he hadn't caught onto the part about pushing the Akatsuki and the three together. "Because they hurt Itachi bad."

Itachi's lips quirked up slightly, "I was just having a bad week, senior project was due and I wasn't finished, father was demanding me to choose a college, handling my brother and his gangs cruel joke just put me a little over the top, that's all."

That was all? From the story Tobi heard, that hadn't been the case. Stress had never been mentioned, only love-sickness and a broken heart. "But Sakura was just mean because-"

"Tobi, just drop it," the quirk dropped to grim line, "Leave the past alone."

"But Tobi thinks it was all a big misunderstanding and that we can be good friends and be a big happy family."

Itachi tilted his head to the side and the line dipped to a frown, "Sometimes misunderstandings can't be undone. Let it go, Tobi. Please don't make things worse."

"But Tobi knows you love Sasuke and Sakura, even Naruto, very much; why can't we all be friends? The three were only mean to you because of the misunderstanding… maybe if they knew the truth they wouldn't be so angry. That way, things can go back to the way they used to be—"

Itachi put a hand on the younger man's head, "Right now, I would appreciated it if you stopped your manipulating."

Tobi froze at the word; caught, he had been caught. Itachi knew, somehow he knew.

"There are more important things at hand. It's good you showed up, I need you to keep an eye on Sakura and a ride to my car," Itachi said, tearing Tobi from his own fears.

"Is she in trouble?" Tobi asked.

"Maybe, I don't know yet. But make sure no strangers come into the house, especially strangers with weapons. I have to get to work," Itachi looked down into dark, navy blue eyes. "Can I count on you?"

"Of course, you can count on Tobi!" the man saluted.

Itachi reached around Tobi to hug him, but then remembered Sakura's warning. He instead rested his chin on the black head of hair. "I should know the face, I'm certain of it; but I can't seem to remember. Please take good care of all of them," Itachi whispered into Tobi's ear before straightening up. "Akatsuki promise me."

"I promise, no harm will come to them," Tobi said dropping his smiling façade. "Does this have to do with the manhunt?"

Itachi's eyes searched Tobi's own. Then the older man gave a rare, tired smile. "Don't worry; I'll take care of it." At that Itachi left the kitchen and went out the front. Konan gave a small wave from the driver's seat. Then the car disappeared down the road.

Tobi locked the door and turned to the living room to watch a pink-haired body sleep.

* * *

After being dropped off at the Greek restaurant, Itachi looked down below. The laundry mat's parking lot was empty. There were no police cars, or any cars for that matter. There had been no luck in the manhunt. The entire city was being searched but the man had escaped and had killed. A residential murder, several blocks from the laundry mat had been reported. There had been a grocery delivery to the older citizen and the bloody scene had been revealed. The old man's car was gone, another stolen vehicle. The drawn picture of the Cat Skinner was on the front page of every newspaper in the county. Reports were spreading to all airports and police stations in the state.

But would it be enough to catch the man? Itachi doubted it. The man had been playing with the police for fun for several months, the only reason he had been caught was because of two off duty cops keeping tabs on an old friend.

Itachi looked up at the sky, rain clouds were setting in. The weatherman had predicted a thunderstorm, which would be a reasonable assumption. They usually got a storm every November without fail; this year would be no different. A storm would slow the manhunt to a standstill.

The man couldn't have chosen to reveal himself at a better time. Perhaps he had known. Itachi debated. The man could have been keeping tabs on the police, even though Itachi thought his simple routine hadn't attracted attention, it might have. Maybe he had given everything away. Maybe the man wanted revenge on either him or Kisame, maybe even Sakura.

But that was unlikely. The amount of cats found in the car suggested several more weeks of play. Truthfully the incident at the Laundry Mat had killed the senior citizen; the crazy man had felt pressured and the need to step up his game. He might have let Sakura go; then again, he could have slit her throat and decided he liked human flesh better than animal ones.

With a sigh Itachi opened his car door and sat down, sliding his key into the ignition. He rested his forehead on the steering wheel in thought. Shisui would boot him out of the manhunt, most likely, only due to favoritism because no doubt they would have Kisame out there. He would be sent to the office to deal with domestic and contrite situations. There was nothing he could really do except follow the command of the head officer though. Right now no one needed a complaining man.

He turned the key and the engine purred. He would grab coffee for those at the search team and then let Shisui tell him what he already knew what he was going to say. He'd pick up a newspaper too; perhaps there would be some good in the world, even if that meant only reading the comics.

He left the parking lot to head to his routine coffee shop.

* * *

Green eyes opened to a flickering television screen. Shisui's mouth seemed to be moving but no words seemed to emit from his mouth. The eyes blinked, trying to figure out why Shisui was spitting out black letters instead of making sound. It took several moments before she realized that the closed captions were on.

Then a drawn picture filled the screen.

She bolted up. The eyes, the skin, the hair was unmistakable; he had been the man in her nightmares, who had been holding a knife to her throat. She tried to jump up from the couch but her feet got tangled in the throw. With a thump her head hit the coffee table, which caused the flimsy table to tilt, making all the magazines, books, files and bowl of popcorn slide onto the floor.

"Sakura!" A voice cried at her side.

She pushed herself up with her hands and turned her head. Blue-eyes wide stared down at her.

"Tobi?" she questioned, pushing herself back up onto the couch.

"Yep!" the man smiled at being called and immediately sat beside her like an over joyous puppy.

"What are you doing here?" her green eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"Tobi knew that it was Sakura's day off so, Tobi came over to play," the man said the smile never leaving his face.

"Tobi knew?" Sakura questioned.

Immediately Tobi realized his mistake. "Yup, I knew you had the day off, so I wanted to make sure you relaxed and had fun."

The pink eyebrow raised but then lowered deciding to let the incident pass. She untangled herself from the throw and folded it while sitting. "Thanks Tobi, but I have a lot on my agenda today." She had shopping and cooking to do so her boys wouldn't starve when they got back.

"Nope, nope. Itachi said I was to look after you and make sure you stayed safe. "

"Why would Itachi-"Sakura began but then the incident from the day before, the nightmare she had, came to her. Her hand went to her mouth and for a moment she forgot to breathe. She gulped in air after a few moments then took a few more to calm herself down. "Maybe you'd help me cook then?"

The man's smile got wider, "Tob- I like to cook."

Suddenly the door connecting the two townhouses tried to open, only to be stopped by the chair.

"Sakura?" Naruto called, his voice betraying his worry.

"Hold on!" Sakura rose and stretched before going and pulling the chair from under the handle.

The door opened to reveal Naruto's face full of stubble and unwashed hair. "I got the bounty as soon as I could and rushed home. Are you ok?"

"Huh?"

"Itachi called and asked if someone would be home for you. It must have been important. You were supposed to be at Ino's or Hinata's I called both but they said you never showed up. Are you ok?"

"Naruto I'm fine. Itachi stayed over to make sure I was ok."

"You let him into the house, did he-" Naruto growled but before he could go on Sakura stopped him.

"He stayed only to make sure I was safe. There was no funny business."

"Home," A voice muttered from Naruto's side of the house.

"Sasuke, do you know what your filthy, older brother did," Naruto snarled.

"Wha-"

"I said he didn't do anything! Listen to me, Idiot!"

* * *

Buying coffee for them all wasn't a good idea, he had no canisters in which to put the coffee in, and the ones at the coffee house were too expensive. Itachi decided donuts would suffice to the men and women on the hunt; they were probably hungry and the sugar would help them get a boost from a night without sleep.

He sipped his triple-shot espresso with no sugar as he made his way to the sidewalk news rack. He went to the counter and was about to drop off his money, to the exact amount, when he realized the shack was closed. He looked around, the newspapers were still tied out front, and the boards of the building were still up. He hadn't made eye contact with the man in years, for he was rather busy in the mornings and already had his newspaper money out (his change from his already bought coffee) and the man always had his paper out for him.

That was when it hit him. The man who ran the booth had looked like the man in the alleyway. Itachi opened his phone to call Kisame when a movement to his left caught his attention. The hoodie covered the top part of the man's face but the eyes looked at Itachi between long black bangs. They were an exotic yellow and crazed looking. He was only several feet from him.

Itachi reached for his gun but then the man was already beside him. Pain erupted from Itachi's side and he could feel his skin slicing beneath a blade.

"Took you long enough," the man said with a smile.

Itachi slammed his elbow in the man's face causing him lean backwards. People on the street immediately stopped to see if the fight would continue, that is until a woman pointed out, "That guy's been stabbed. Someone call 9-1-1!" then everything seemed to break loose.

People got a good look at the man whose head had been knocked backwards by the blow, for the hoodie hadn't been tight and had fallen off. Screaming started from somewhere to Itachi's right but it spread throughout the group of people.

The man held his nose and wiped blood onto the black hoodie. Then he gave a laugh and pulled out a gun. Chaos exploded on the street.

Itachi reached for his gun but he was too late, a gunshot filled his ears and pain blazed through the arm holding his cellphone. He rolled to the side of the small shack, to get out of sight of the man. He turned his gun off safety and cocked it shakily with his injured hand then stood, and turned around the corner and returned fire. The man was laughing, even though he was certain the bullet had hit. It had. He could see moisture gathering on the cloth around the man's abdomen. The man didn't seem to notice though. Instead he gave a final smile. "As much as I love playing with you, I think I'd like playing with your little brother even more, Itachi Uchiha."

The man was off, racing to a vehicle parked on the side. The car was a dark blue Chrysler, not an old, cherry red Ford that had been reported missing.

Sirens were blaring somewhere in the background. Itachi opened his phone, his hand fumbling with the buttons as he tried to speed dial Kisame. He put the phone to his ear, the ringing almost soothed him.

"What the _ do you want mother _?" a voice screeched on the other end.

"Hidan?" Itachi asked in desperation, was it a cruel joke of the world. How had he mistaken a five for a two?

"Itachi what the _ you want from me?"

He was going to have to make do, the paramedics were already in sight and people were pointing in his direction. "Hidan, you have to listen to me."

"Yeah, yeah I'm listening little _-"

"Shut the _ up or I swear I will kill you," Itachi snarled. "You are going to go get my brother and his little friends and you are going to lock them up in Kisame's quarantine box, got it. And if you give me any _ by the time I'm done with you, you'll wish you were dead. Have I made myself clear?"

"Look Itachi-"

"Have I made myself clear?" there wasn't much time left, already the stretcher was out and a blue uniform visible. Itachi looked down at the knife on the ground several feet from him, had it hit his kidney?

"Yeah, yeah, when do you want the little _ rounded up?"

"Right now."

"Look all I'm saying is-"

Hidan's words were lost on Itachi as the paramedics and officer were several steps away from him. Their voices rang out far clearer then Hidan's, most likely due to the fact Itachi's grip on the phone had loosened due to the pain he was now feeling.

They were talking about the close range shot and how the bullet had gone through his arm. His eyes focused on the man with the badge, taking witness statements and he tried to ignore the paramedic putting pressure on his gun wound.

Itachi looked down at his side, and the pool of blood he was sitting in and his gun several feet away. When had he collapsed to the ground? When had he dropped his gun?

"Sir? Can you try to focus on the light?"

His eyes looked at the man currently shining something extremely bright in his face.

"Can you call the officer over?" Itachi reached into his back pocket and both paramedics started back tracking, as though he had another gun. He pulled out his ID showing it to them so they relaxed. "I'm Itachi Uchiha, I work for the police department. The man that shot me… " he shook his head-he couldn't assume-he hadn't seen the man in years-it was possible he no longer worked at the place. "The guy who owns this news stand is a lead. They need to look into it."

"Hey!" the paramedic called to the officer, but Itachi's focus diverted.

Hidan wouldn't let him down-would he? Would the man go for his brother? How much did he know?

His hands went to his side as did his eyes. Why couldn't he remember the man pulling out the knife? It was no longer there. Never pull out sharp objects-they double cut-training-he learned that his first year in officer training-right?-hadn't he?-but the importance-double cut-more blood-greater chance of losing a life-it was in his side-was it possible that it had hit his organs?

"He was stabbed!" suddenly the other paramedic cried.

Immediately the world swayed under Itachi as they picked him up and loaded him on the stretcher. One paramedic was pushing on his side, the other on his arm. Pain seared through Itachi's body. The officer walked beside Itachi, as the paramedics began pushing him to the ambulance.

"Records on-news stand-" Itachi said, but his words seemed to slur. The knife?-had it been poisoned? Itachi gripped one of the paramedic's sleeve.

The officer was saying something, asking something, but the words made no sense to Itachi.

"St. Christina's-"he said to the paramedic at his side.

"Sir, that's across the city-"

"Doctor Tsunade, I need Doctor Tsunade-"

"Look sir-"

His grip tightened, the man could have poisoned the blade, "Listen-the knife-the knife-poison-she's the best."

The paramedic gave a nod and the world became a blur of white.

* * *

Hidan slammed down the phone. He'd heard the ambulances on the line and the people crying, some screaming in the background. Something bad was happening; something really bad was happening. It was rare for Itachi to swear, period, and for him to let loose two in the same minute meant that whatever he was saying was important.

Hidan grabbed his keys, laptop, and jacket. It was just grand; he had to babysit the people he hated most in the world. Itachi would owe him one.


	5. 2a Thursday Oh How Fun!

_**/**__/ 2a = Thursday is going to continue into another chapter . There's more to the story, but I'm going to be gone for a bit. _

_Also, those of you who do not check my profile__** CSE [Complicated Series of Events] was updated,**__ but the update was added to Chapter 10, so those of you that have it on alert did not see it come up. Sorry for the confusion, but it was part of the timeline, __**view my profile for more information**__. _

_**Remember: no ninjas**__. But alas, I know not about Hidan so I hope you can forgive me if I took him too far out of character. _

_Thank you very much for continuing to read my work and your reviews are appreciated. _

_Z.z_

**Chapter Five: Thursday's Oh How Fun! Part 2a of 2**

Shisui was staring at the map below him. There was only so much searching that could be done. They were looking for the most elusive red ford in the existence of red fords. There was no sign or even a tip off. He wanted to slam his head against a wall. How had his cousin stumbled across this guy in the first place?

Oh yes, his Itachi had been spying on a girl, who was just stupid enough to go around and do a one-on-one with a weirdo.

Speaking of his darling, where was he? Shisui had a lot of work cut out for Mr. Itachi. He was usually on time, unless he'd gotten a little farther than dropping off Sakura. Hmm. Itachi would be rather bothered his brother found out about that.

Shisui sighed; if he ever got out of the office he'd give his little cousin a call. The thought put a light smile on his face, loosening the worry lines that had been forming since the evening before. It was always good to look forward to something.

He felt eyes upon him and looked to the doorway, the new office worker was watching him again and it wasn't just his imagination. It was eerie to the point of putting his nerves on alert. It was probably his paranoia but there seemed to be malicious intent.

"Hozuki?" Shisui said standing upright. The man was had been trying to get into the police academy for some time, but so far had been unable to pass particular tests, which Shisui didn't know. The man seemed determined and had gotten a desk job in the police station as a secretary.

The man tilted his head to the side and gave a small smile at being called. The smile made his teeth's sharpness more noticeable, and instead of being like Kisame, where the smile usually gave him ease, the smile of the man before him heightened his sense of danger.

The man opened his mouth to speak, but before he could make a sound an officer rushed into the room.

"Uchiha," the officer called to Shisui, brushing past the man.

Suigetsu gave a hiss through his teeth and stepped out of the door way.

"Yes?" Shisui asked, noting the way the man had taken off, his steps heavy with anger. He looked at the officer standing before him. Something was up; the officer didn't look like he knew what to say.

"What is it?" Shisui said using his demanding tone; usually it got people to speak.

The police officer still looked like he was swallowing bile, but he shook his head and began, "The Cat Skinner attacked in open daylight near Seneca and Fifth Street. Some of those that were there say that he jumped in a blue Chrysler, and one person said it was the 2006 model and the license started with seven-seven-two."

"That's too close for comfort, sounds like he's getting more daring. But at least we have some specifics on the car. Have we already sent out the news to those searching?"

"It is being spread at this moment."

"Good. Now how bad was the attack, how many were involved?" did the man go on a shooting spree? or was he on the street skinning people?

He'd assign Itachi and Kisame to the latest scene as soon as Itachi got in. His cousin was the best when it came to seeing details and behaviors. He needed to know why the man attacked and if there was a profile. Itachi was brilliant and could put together even the toughest cases, or the oddest. Itachi was a bloodhound and once he got a scent of a murderer, he was on them. Almost all of the homicide cases Itachi preferred to deal with personally… Itachi preferred to handle most cases excluding the 'contrite and domestic' but that was beside the point. When they brought in homicide suspects, Itachi always had justifiable evidence that would turn any jury that is, of course, they hadn't already confessed.

Basically, Itachi was Shisui's ticket to fame and fortune. The only reason he had ever been promoted to a sit down job was because he'd been Itachi's partner when they'd taken down a man named Douglas Fiber, he'd killed thirteen women and thirteen girls, and no one had known he had been a serial killer. Itachi had seen the connection though, but had told the superiors he would have never figured it out if it hadn't been for Shisui. Really, all he'd said was 'this looks like the mom to that other girl we found last week.'

Everyone had been looking at the dna, the reality. It had been figurative. The man had killed his daughter and wife. It had been an 'accident' and he'd gotten time for manslaughter. But, Itachi had realized that the connection only had been in the murder's head. That women and girls that had been found hadn't been accidents or victims of gangs, family conflicts, or muggers. It clicked and Shisui had been given a larger paycheck for dealing with paperwork.

Shisui paused in his thought, the man hadn't responded.

"Officer what happened?" had the man truly been skinning people on the street?

"Itachi Uchiha was attacked and is in critical condition, he was sent to St. Christina's hospital; he should have arrived by now."

There was no oxygen in the room. The breath Shisui tried to take stuck in his throat. "What?" he heard his own voice choke on the question.

"Itachi was the one that was attacked."

No, that wasn't possible. Itachi… Itachi was brilliant… Itachi could solve the case—

Someone knew.

The Cat Skinner knew who to aim for. Who else would be eliminated—No, he was being ridiculous. Itachi had been at the forest.

That was it. He was being too unreasonable.

What if Itachi had gone looking for the killer? What did Itachi know?

"I need someone to get in contact with the hospital and I need to know which officer was at the scene, I want to speak with them."

/

How many swear words could Hidan use in a fifteen-minute drive to a 'cheap, pathetic _ of a town home?'

Too many to count, the question was rhetorical.

The man slammed the car door; his white bangs fell into his eyes. Twenty-eight more words spewed from his mouth in incoherent vigor. He hadn't put his gel in. Someone was going to die. Who ever talked first was going to die. The first one of the bratty, little kids that even thought they could mess with him would die. They would all die.

He smeared his hair back with his hand, or at least tried to, but without the gel the hair only went to the side, away from his eyes. He had to stay calm, momentarily anyways. If he had to kidnap the wretches, he'd do so.

Itachi knew he hated them, why had he sent him? Was it the awkward, emotionally stunted man's idea of a joke? Or had he found out about Tobi's little scheme?

The kid was evil. He told Pein, time and time again, only schizophrenics or masterminds acted like the jumble-bee, lollipop, candy man. There was something going on beyond those 'cutie' blue eyes, as Konan liked to squeal, that didn't sit right. But he was the only one who got the whole picture it seemed. Everyone else pampered the kid endlessly, thinking him to be some 'jolly, happy, little soul' but in reality that wasn't the case. The kid wasn't Santa Clause or even Frosty the Snow Man; he was the sunshine melting the _ dancing snowball away. The kid was messed up.

Everyone ignored him though. Hidan's just paranoid. Hidan's been reading too many serial killer novels. Hidan's been writing too many mystery novels. Hidan's been interrogating people too much. Even Kakuzu started slamming him if he brought it up.

Kisame and Itachi were both cops, how could they not pick up the vibe on the demonic presence that sat next to them?

Maybe it was because he hadn't been there when Tobi had joined their little group. Due to Itachi's brother little prank, he'd been sent to a correctional facility.

His fist tightened. He never got his revenge for that. Or at least got his revenge satisfied.

But… in a way, he had met the CIA operative there, who he eventually contacted to get his job as an interrogator.

No.

He would not fall into the trap and begin believing they were innocent too. He would kill them… After Itachi got done locking them up in Kisame's bomb shelter.

He suffered in that hell hole for six months of his life because of those punks. He'd rip them to shreds if he ever got the chance.

He slammed his hand upon the door.

The door opened revealing navy blue eyes. "Hidan what are you doing here?"

There was no 'Tobi is glad to see you—Tobi wants to know why you're here—Tobi says hi.'

He knew it. He knew it all along. There was the calculating gaze, the unsmiling face. It was all before him. The real face of the hugging beast was showing, and it was exactly what he had been trying to tell them all for so long.

It then occurred to him that he was supposed to be collecting Sasuke.

It was all a conspiracy. The madman was supposed to be on their side.

"_! _ and _ this _ you_ _!"

/

When the call had come over the radio, the words hadn't quite reached his head. It took two minutes for the reality of what was happening to sink in.

Now he was waiting in traffic, trying to get to the hospital. His partner, his best friend… was probably going to die. The report was he'd been stabbed and shot, no specification as to where. People died from stabbings, and from being shot. Together the outlook did not sound good.

Itachi was also being taken to Christinia's and if the traffic was anything like what he was in, well, the outcome would be death.

His orders were still being repeated on the radio by Shisui. He was supposed to go back to the police station. He was supposed to assume that those that had seen the Cat Skinner were the ones that were targeted. He was supposed to tell other officers where to find Sakura. He was supposed to be aware someone wanted him dead.

He didn't care if getting to the hospital killed him. No one else could possibly understand; he had to be there.

Itachi would do the same for him.

That was why Itachi was the only one in the world Kisame trusted to have his back.

/

"Let go!" Sasuke yelled as Hidan dragged him from the house.

"You can _ all the _ and _ you _ _ _ but you're coming with me," the white haired man barked, his grip on the younger man's arm. Thank goodness the kid was still skin and bones. This was almost like old times, except instead of a trash can he was going to stuff the kid in his car instead. Maybe the trunk if he kept yelling…. No, his car had that handle on the inside; the kid would just roll out.

Sakura and Tobi were holding on to Sasuke, it really wasn't supposed to be so easy; all of them seemed to be made of sticks and bones. Except Naruto, the kid looked like he worked out on a daily basis. He wouldn't want to go piss that kid off. Naruto would easily be able to drag Sasuke back into the house. But Sakura and Tobi had grabbed Sasuke first and there wasn't too much left of the stick to grab.

"Hidan, let him go," Tobi growled.

"_ _ _ No." Well, well, well the blue-eyed beast was emerging; it was just too bloody, _ bad that he didn't have a camera at the moment. The world could finally see what little monster had emerged as a spawn of Madara. But no one would ever believe him, no. He was just some crazy, lunatic who was paranoid and wrote books about lunatics who killed people.

Speaking of his books, it looked like Sakura had his whole collection. He'd always thought her to be too much of a girly-girl. But, now that he knew she read his books, he deiced he was going to change his newest victim to a hospital surgeon. That would keep her up for nights on end. Serve the _ right.

"Let me-" Sasuke began, but was cut off.

"Let go of Sasuke!" A woman screeched.

Her voice stopped everyone in their tracks of watching or yanking on Sasuke.

"Karin?" Sasuke questioned, "What are you doing here?"

The red haired girl pushed up her glasses. She looked easy, like something his latest serial killer would like to manipulate into doing his dirty work. "I have some information on the case you wanted; I thought I'd just drop it by."

Joy, so little wretch had found a little wench. He let go of Sasuke, the girl could say her goodbyes, and she could give Sasuke the information.

"I'll make sure he gets it _," Hidan extended his hand to the woman who was walking forward, her heels clipping on the cement driveway. It would be easier to get the kid in the car, maybe it would work like candy.

"Give it to me," Sasuke commanded, shoving Hidan out of the way as Karin's mouth formed an 'o.'

"Well…" her eyes trailed to the side as though she were some lost kitten, "I was hoping we could talk about it over coffee or dinner."

There was no folder in her hands. Suspicious.

Hidan looked at Tobi, he'd been correct on that assumption. He looked at Sakura; she always looked like she would make for a tough kill, a challenge for any killer. And as Tobi said, she had been targeted and had caused trouble. He looked at the new woman. Maybe the red-head was after Sakura and was just going to use Sasuke to end her. Or maybe, Sasuke was the real target. Or maybe, Hidan glanced at Naruto. No. That kid definitely wasn't it.

But the vibe coming from the red-head wasn't good. He was going to trust his gut. The woman wanted someone out of the three. Well whoever it was, Sasuke, Sakura or mastermind, Tobi; the girl was going to have to wait in line. He was next.

"Get in the car, Sasuke," Hidan commanded. He needed to get the girl to leave them alone. If she really was a manipulated piece of trash she probably had a gun on her. He needed to get them out of here.

Sasuke tilted his head to the side, realizing Hidan hadn't let loose a cuss word in his last sentence.

"What's really going on?"

He needed to fake it. He needed something Sasuke would react to. Something that- "Your brother needs a blood transfusion, or something like that."

"Itachi needs a –" Sasuke's eyes flashed in horror. Good, he'd pulled on the heart strings.

"Oh my goodness, that's really why I came to see if you were ok; you didn't tell him about what happened?" the woman put her hand up to her mouth. So, she knew. She was in on what happened. She was digging herself a deeper hole. He wasn't just paranoid.

"I don't know the details. All I know is that you're needed at the hospital. I didn't think you'd come if you thought it was Itachi that needed help," that was low even for him, but it had to be done.

The boy turned suddenly and grabbed onto Hidan's neck collar. "You don't think I go help my own brother," the words came out like a hiss and the black eyes of the notable Uchiha clan seemed a shade closer to alizarin crimson.

"What happened to aniki?"

Did the kid seriously still call him that?

"He was shot," Karin answered. "He probably needs more than a blood transfusion. It might be a kidney or something. We need to get there now." Her hands motioned for Sasuke to come with her.

That wasn't going to happen in his book. He grabbed Sasuke's arm as the boy tried to walk forward. He was going to use the woman for all she was worth. "Exactly. I need your help Karin," Hidan said.

The woman's head perked up at being summoned. Poor thing was probably just looking for some attention and got it in the wrong place.

"I'm going to take them down Meridian Street, it's usually faster. But traffics a _ so I need you to take South Avenue; call us if it's faster."

Something glinted in the girl's eyes, almost like she could see through him, "Wait. Two Uchihas, I take one and you take one that way. One of us will get there fast and Itachi can get help quicker."

No, she would just have a hostage. He wrote enough of such scenes to know he had been trapped in one. There was only one way out. "No, you're sadly mistaken little _. Only one's a true, _ blooded Uchiha. Let's go."

"What?" everyone asked at once.

Hidan turned and looked at Tobi. He had to save them all somehow, but it was going to kill him.

"I know you didn't want them to find out and it's one of Akatsuki's five secrets, but you need to understand," the blue eyes were in a glare and they looked read to kill him, the point wasn't getting across and he knew he wasn't supposed to talk about the secrets, "these people, for some odd _ reason, like for who you are and they don't care if you're adopted out of drunken home where you were abused." The eyes lit up and Tobi gave a subdued nod, he would play along.

"Oh," Sakura turned to Tobi and gently patted him on the back, "If I'd known—I'm so sorry. Is that why you don't like to be hugged?"

The monster didn't like hugs? Why the _ and _ did he give them out then, to torture everyone else?

"Yeah," Tobi nodded, but his eyes remained on Hidan.

Hidan had lied about Tobi. The freak was a spawn of the demon known as Madara (that should have been obvious to everyone) and a mysterious, blood-bathing mother, Kyuubi. That was Tobi's secret, that his mother was not dead, just imprisoned for life. Hidan had been the only one to look into it. The woman had killed hundreds. When he had visited her, the only thing she wanted to know was if Tobi liked the smell of smoke or if Tobi liked her advice about arson in her letters. She was disgusting; he couldn't write for weeks after talking to her.

The Akatsuki secret he had mentioned was a true one though. It was his. He wasn't some _ who cried about it though. It was something he never brought up and never looked at. The only reason the Akatsuki knew was because his dad had tried to find him after he had gotten out of prison, it had been his senior year. A year he was better off forgetting.

He tossed aside his feelings; he had a job to do.

"Do you think you can handle taking South Avenue you _ little _?" Hidan asked.

The woman looked as though she had been challenged. "Of course." She turned and walked to her car, she was pulling out her cellphone.

That wasn't good; they weren't going to be able to stay Meridian now, well he was just going to get on the freeway that much sooner.

"Let's go." And they went.

After Karin's car went left, Hidan continued one more street down Meridian before turning and getting on the highway.

"Where are you—"

"Listen up _!" Hidan glanced at the three troublesome kids in his back seat then to his right to Tobi. "Everyone give your cell phones to Tobi."

"Wha—"

"Do it." The sound of Tobi's voice being commanding threw Hidan off-guard, but it got the others to do as he said.

"Tobi take out the batteries." Thank goodness, the kid actually listened to him.

"What is going on? Itachi needs me, take me to the hospital!" Sasuke actually looked fearful. Maybe the news was too harsh.

"Which hospital?" Hidan asked.

"What?"

"Which hospital is your brother at, _?"

"I don't know! You're supposed to know!"

Both Meridian and South Avenue went by two of the three hospitals in the city. "I don't know what happened, I don't know where Itachi was or is."

"Why the h-"

"Tell me how she knows. Tell me how that _ little Prada _ knows where Itachi is. Tell me how she knows the details," Hidan said, more to himself than to Sasuke. He really was beginning to sound like a paranoid man.

Tobi's eyes were watching him, the freaky dark blue orbs looked they were evaluating his entire being, or maybe it was just his sanity. Everyone probably thought he'd lost it. Everyone probably wanted to take him to a loony bin, or another 'correctional facility.'

"She shouldn't know," Tobi quietly answered him.

Hidan let loose the breath he'd been holding. "That's right. The _ _ shouldn't know, but she does." He wasn't crazy yet, and that was all that mattered.

Hidan's purple eyes looked into the back mirror as he watched Sasuke. The boy's face was emotionless.

"Sasuke, Itachi gave me specific instructions and until I hear otherwise we are going to stick to those instructions. For some reason, Itachi believes you're in trouble. If Itachi was truly shot and is at death's door the word would go through the Akatsuki and in turn we will let you know. But trust me, he would have given me your _ dietary plan if he thought he was really going to die and leave you." He hated being nice. It just wasn't in him. But he needed to make sure the boy stayed where it was safe.

The boy swallowed and his pale face seemed to look a bit more colored. "Where are we going?"

Hidan laughed maybe he had gotten lucky running into Kakuzu his freshman year. All of the Akatsuki seemed to be a bit alike, "A _ paranoid, nut-job's end of the world shelter."


End file.
